betia teilor in floare



doar o luna pe an
in iunie
boarea teilor
te-mbata
cu vedenii de dragoste.


se-anunta
 cand,
salcamii ,dulci si galesi,
deschid momitele de floare
ca o amenintare.


ca vine vremea
cand mana-n mana
indragostitii
isi varsa inima fierbinte
sub teii infloriti
muiati in parfum
de miere si cicoare

ca-n fiecare vara
singura
venind spre casa
ma atingea
sfintirea teilor in floare
cu dor de drag
cu adierea unei atingeri
sa ma-nfioare


departe, fara parfum de tei
cu viata plina
 ca o valiza de lunga departare,
singura din nou,
cu trista-mi inima nempartasita
cu umeri aplecati de lacrimi-ploaie
o ceasca fara toarta
pe muchea ascutita
dintre viata si moarte

in fiecare seara,retrasa la subsol,in camera de oaspeti,inchideam usa si-n patul rece,sub pleoapele adormite ,deschideam cortina de vise.
ma simteam proaspata, frumoasa si gata de sarutat.el se strecura sub cearcefuri, si se lipea de mine, infasurata-n camasa de noapte verde de matase. ma-am gandit ca o sa-i placa...
ma adormea cu vorbe de iertare, cu promisiuni , cu tot ce nu aveam de-o viata,cu sufletul cald al amantului ce putea sa fie.., daca...
tot ce-mi doream era acolo, langa mine:eram o casa, o familie, o lupta de 20 de ani!
atat de multe planuri aveam in lumea mea de vise!!

In alta lume, oarba de mine,el era din ce in ce mai rece,mai multe capete de acuzare aduna, ca sa-mi sfirseasca deplina anihilare.
scrisori crude si rele , amenintatoare,
intilniri cu pitipoance studente, in baruri, de ochii lumii..
spalare de suflet si creer in vin rosu si otrave Palmer iste..




si din parfumul vechi de flori de tei
o alta dragoste
s-ar fi nascut
cu binecuvantarea maicii.
cu bine cuvantare!

sailing..

wind dripping
on the dancing sail
spilled wind
weaving in the hair

sunset boiling
in the pit of sea
souls
in search of home

winds breeding
faces in the night
gallopping herds
of long lost dreams

the wind
is singing lullabyies
and souls stand still
untill...

the curtain raises
for one more play.

you lost 3/09/2002

you lost your bearings,
broken ship,
you lost your anchor
are you even aware?

is hate the wind
beneath your sails,
or just the calm of
nothing at all?

is death of soul
your final shore?
are we too much
to care for?

will you wake up
one day'
and miss the life
you were..

of what you lost?

of the blessings

of being fair?

or would you
die in vain
cursed not
to  feel or
learn to dare..

in the dawn.. 3/09/2002 ono island

in the  dawn..
the sound of the sleeping sea
without you..
the wind in the cypress trees
like a lonely wolf..

the world my heart made up
all gone
in dreams or memories
of sunsets burnt in flames
of purple seas
of dawns in pink and grey

no real words we spent
to soften our wounded selves..
no words of truth when we met..
instead,monsoons of tears did i shed,
as a caress on your unbending, frozen heart.

you wander 3/09/2002

you wander
through the lies
of foreign words
through lonely beds
as cold as winter

you wouldn't know the difference
in your new armor of content!
you needed little, playing all alone,
on rug designs, with toy lead soldiers.

now mooring boats, traveling by planes
you launch yourself into another realm

10 years of being alone 5/28/2010

ten years of being gone,
but always by my side,
when
happiness comes my way:

with a strange man,
making thirsty love
(started crying,and closed my eyes)
forgive me, love
for i was burning
for a touch,
dry desert scorching for a drop..

in Oxford and in Cottswalds
we walked together
on narrow streets
and  drank warm beer in pubs.

in Ceahlau,Durau
dancing the night away
at a colt -ish pace
a hungarian
with tuica on our breath.;

on Caraiman,crossing
towards the big cross,
on my 50th birthday
we were breathing together
the crisp air
and hugged the mountain flowers

on the waters of Chesapeke bay
sailing by,
little fishing towns.
we were on the boat together,
(and Harold at the helm)
discovering the sunsets
all over again.

in the mountains of West Virginia
with a man that was drinking me up
with his eyes,
and i was tending to his graves.

we were skiing together ,as always,
in the swiss Alps , with Carla,,
in Keystone,Utah,Montana,
Whistler and West Virginia..

you gave me dancing powers
at weddings...
you gave me safe rules to live by
you never deserted me in my dreams..

the void was real only in our children's hearts
no father to listen to their thoughts
to see them grow into women,
becoming mothers and wives
no father to tell  them:
"you are everything i was hoping in a child."

the void in you
growing each day...

o, poor man,
dressed in titles to cover an empty wall,
bufoon to lowest lives in town
with their delusions of painting intelligence
on their hypocryitical existence,
commercing souls for sale
and dragging God in their sewer ..

o poor man
died in a useless war
ten years ago
and left us with a wish...

dream 6/ 02/2006

last night
i deamed about you,
not being you,

bodies weaved into one,
happiness,
my heart
light,
a butterfly..

i streched the dream  for hours
rather than cry,
you,
or a new you,
still on my mind..

the early morning
bringing coffe
or singing in the shower,
almost forgotten..

years passed by,
waiting for you,
in the same bed,
your place, warm
with wishful memories
of what was supposed to be
 my true love.